Ah Beng Jokes

Story 1: Timing

During the Japanese Occupation, 3 Singaporeans, Ah Meng, Ah Seng and Ah Beng were caught for smuggling. They were sentenced to death by firing squad. That night, Ah Meng came up with a plan. He told the others that the Japanese were afraid of natural disasters. So he would cause them to panic, and escape in the confusion.The next morning, Ah Meng was led to the wall. The firing squad was lined up and the Captain commanded, "Ready.. Aim..", but before he could complete, Ah Meng shouted, "Earthquake!! Earthquake!" The Japanese soldiers panicked and Ah Meng made his escape.Later, the soldiers took Ah Seng out and the firing squad were ready. The captain commanded, "Ready... Aim..." This time Ah Seng shouted. " Flood! Flood!!" Again, the Japanese soldiers panicked and this time, Ah Seng made his escape. Observing all this, Ah Beng began to get the idea: "It's important to get the timing right."Soon, it was Ah Beng's turn. "Timing, that's the key.." Ah Beng kept saying to himself. The soldiers lined up in front of him. The captain started, "Ready...""Timing," Ah Beng thought to himself"Aim...""Okay," thought Ah Beng, and shouted, " FIRE!!! FIRE!!! "

Story 2: Ah Beng Mekenik

Ah Beng decided to start a business; an auto garage. He buy the best of car servicing equipment and manpower. Then Ah Beng waited that day for cars to arrive but no car entered their garage. Then he waited for 1 day, 2 days, a week for the car to arrive but no car came to their garage. So Ah Beng called his friend and complain to his friend "I lonnoe why la no bisles one my mekenik sop". Then his friend asked "Why? Hong chui (feng shui) no good ar?".Ah Beng instantly replied "What hong chui no good, my shop got nice number open at 8th floor lerrr!!!"

Story 7: Heng ah

One day, Ah Beng & Ah Seng were walking down the Chinatown when they saw something in their path. Wait!" cried Ah Beng. "Wat is tat huh?""Yah ho! Be carefool lo," warned Ah Seng."Wat is it?" They approached the thing and looked at it very closely."Eee look like shit lah!" say Ah Beng."Hmmm..... smell like shit also!" say Ah Seng after taking a deep breathe.Ah Beng then poked the thing with his one finger, raised the finger to his lips, tasted it and said, "Tastes like shit!"Ah Seng pushed his finger right through the thing and stick out his tongue to lick. With confidence, he said, "Confirm is shit!"Then they smiled at each other, "WAH! Heng ahhh we didn't step on it."



Laughter is the best medicine =)